Being a bum sucks. Being a bum at 23 sucks even more.I’m confused and still haven’t gotten my life figured out. I don’t know what I want to be and who I want to be.I do try to have a cheerful disposition and a positive outlook. But oftentimes, it can get quite tiring especially when I feel like I’m still stuck in the same vortex of void since God knows when.Self-introspection does no good to me either. Whenever I try to assess myself… My goals, my achievements, my life… Everything starts to look dim and I begin to think that I still haven’t truly amounted to anything. Just when I thought I had everything figured out, I haven’t. And this frustrates me the most.All I know is that I am not where I am supposed to be right now. Literally and metaphorically.I believe I’m lost… And that I must become my own hero to find myself before boredom, dispiritedness and self-deprecation consume me.More than a hug or an encouragement… I need an epiphany.I need to talk to my innermost being and to hear the voice of my life’s calling.But until then, everything will remain a mystery..
Exactly 9 months ago, I launched Agent Dolly with nothing but faith in my pocket.
While most of my peers got their lives figured out and are pretty much set for life, I was still lost, confused and left in the dark.
Every single day I was crippling in fear of how my life was going to turn out for I was still unemployed and penniless.
I was stirred up from the inside and was constantly fighting a battle happening within me.
I was always pensive and I would keep asking myself questions like…
The clouds of pessimistic thoughts hovering above my head made me doubt myself and my abilities more and more.
But I thank God that I have that one person who believes in me more than I do myself… And that is my boyfriend.
His support, gentle prodding, words of encouragement and how he reminded me of God’s promises lifted me up and kept from losing faith.
The Bible recognizes how important it is to encourage and be encouraged: “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)
And why we should have faith: “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” – Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)
In the words of Martin Luther King Jr., “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”
And that’s exactly what I did.
Despite all the doubts, fears, negativity and lack of vision, I simply took a leap of faith and just clung on to the promises of God for me.
For He said in Jeremiah 29:11, “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” (GNT)
More importantly, I simply let go and let God work.
In Proverbs 3:5-6 it says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths.” (ESV)
Because I gave God the authority to work not only in my business but also in my life, all my doubts, fears, insecurities and negative thoughts just melted away. I now have vision and direction in my life. No longer do I see myself as a loser but as a victor.
And in the past 9 months, with nothing but faith in my pocket, I’ve seen my little brainchild Agent Dolly grow steadily and beautifully day by day.
God is truly is faithful and for this I give thanks to the Lord.
“Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness.” – Psalms 115:1 (NLT)
Photo Credit:
Daily Inspiration and Motivation